if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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