I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
