True but thats because hes a fetus.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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