Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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