I love black thongs
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
