Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dear god my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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