The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
