dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh god it's open bar.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
