Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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