So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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