So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
