the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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