Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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