He told me they were just razor bumps!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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