let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
