As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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