Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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