we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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