also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
