i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
