Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
