hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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