dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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