Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
