i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
