people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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