I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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