You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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