Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Panties = found
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
