physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
