she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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