You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
