I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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