Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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