what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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