I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
