i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize