Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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