the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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