there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
