well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
dude. I can hear the air.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
