I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
