Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
