Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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