hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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