at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
