I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
