Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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