I don't think brook has ever known best
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
