i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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