just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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