Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
