she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
