You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
