I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
