Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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