He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize