Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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