i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
