I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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