How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
