You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
